Forget selling yourself
When I was in university studying Earth Science, I went to a giant geology career fair full of employers and students.
I’m shy, and talking to people used to feel (and sometimes still feels) terrifying.
I remember walking around thinking I needed to sound as intelligent and impressive and valuable as the other students around me, who all seemed to have this selling yourself thing figured out.
I secretly wanted to disappear, so I snuck out early and hoped no one would notice.
Years later (after many more awkward networking experiences), I realised something important:
If you feel like you have to “sell yourself”, something is probably off.
The problem with “selling yourself”
Some of the most common statements we hear at Conservation Careers sound something like this:
“I’m terrible at selling myself.”
“I hate that I have to sell myself.”
“Networking feels fake.”
“How can I sell myself better?”
What fascinates me is this: conservationists often instinctively know that “selling” themselves doesn’t feel right, but they assume they should get better at doing it anyway.
This is my only chance
Let’s look at networking from a coaching perspective.
Imagine you’re starting or changing your career. For months you’ve been applying for jobs without success. You’re burnt out, frustrated and starting to lose hope.
Then – boom! Suddenly you land an interview for a role you’re really excited about!
Yes! There’s a ray of light at the end of the dark tunnel of job applications.
You mean you want to interview me!?
But – instead of celebrating the milestone you’ve just achieved – a voice in your head starts whispering:
“What if there aren’t more opportunities like this?”
And it gets louder:
“This is my only chance.”
“If I don’t get this role, I’ll never break into conservation.”
And next thing you know, you’re anxious about proving yourself and obsessed with impressing the employer. You worry over every word you say (or don’t say) and every reaction (or lack of reaction) you receive.
The best possible news – an interview for your dream job! – just became a nightmare.
What happened?!
The opportunity didn’t change.
You did.
A few moments earlier, this interview was exciting.
Then fear crept in.
And suddenly the conversation isn’t a conversation anymore.
It’s a test. A verdict.
A pass-or-fail moment that seems to determine your future.
In coaching, we might say you’ve become attached to the outcome.
And I don’t mean attached simply because you care about the role. I mean attached because you’ve started believing your worth and future depend on one specific result.
That’s a huge amount of pressure for a single conversation with another human being to carry.
Please choose me
The more attached we become to being chosen, the harder it becomes to simply be ourselves.
Our attention shifts away from the other person and onto ourselves:
Am I saying the right thing?
Do I sound knowledgeable enough?
Did they like that answer?
What should I say next?
We stop listening and relating. Instead, we start performing.
I know this one well. At that geology career fair, I wasn’t actually interested in getting to know employers. I was busy trying to manage how they saw me. I was terrified someone might discover I wasn’t as intelligent, confident or knowledgeable as I thought I needed to be.
No wonder I felt exhausted!
I wasn’t relating.
I was performing.
Human to human
What if networking wasn’t about selling yourself at all?
What if it was about building relationships and exploring how you might contribute?
Instead of “Please choose me”, the conversation becomes:
“What matters to these people?”
“What are they working towards?”
“What challenges are they facing?”
“How might I contribute?”
And equally importantly: “Do I actually want to work with them?”
Notice what changes.
The employer is no longer sitting above you, deciding your fate.
You’re both exploring the same question: Is there a fit here?
A simple experiment
The next time you find yourself networking, applying for a role or preparing for an interview, notice when the voice shows up:
“Please choose me.”
Notice what happens to your body, your attention and your energy.
Then try something different.
Get curious.
Who is this person?
What matters to them?
What are they trying to create?
How might you contribute?
And do I actually want to work with them?
See what changes.
You might find that networking becomes a lot less about selling yourself, and a lot more about connecting with people.
If you’d like support navigating a career change – not just the practical side, but the deeper shifts in ways of being that come with it – I’d love to connect.
Book a discovery coaching call.
P.S. I never did figure out how to “sell myself”. Thankfully, it turns out I didn’t need to.
Author Profile | Kristi Foster
Kristi Foster is the Head of Coaching at Conservation Careers and has a Master’s in Conservation Biology. Her own conservation career journey has led her across the globe from East Africa to the Amazon, working with organisations such as Fauna & Flora, the World Agroforestry Centre and Ecotourism Australia. Since joining Conservation Careers in 2019, she has coached over 100 conservationists in career direction and fulfilment, and consulted in job applications, interviews and more. Today a key part of her mission is supporting conservationists to transform who they are and want they do in the world. Learn more.